Following a self referral, after advice from my health visitor and a couple of months on the waiting list I have just begun a Postnatal Wellbeing group. It is organised by Healthy Minds and has three lovely heath professionals running it; a Health Visitor, a CBT Therapist and a Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner (PWP). My first session was a week last Tuesday, they run for 10 weeks and additionally have a session for partners to go to, without us women, to learn more about PND and how best to support us. This, I feel, will hopefully be incredibly beneficial for the whole family. I’ve only been to 2 sessions so far so have not yet seen any associated changed but I will blog my experience as the group progresses.
My work have been wonderfully supportive and have allowed me to book every Tuesday morning off as annual leave to attend the group. Last week I decided that being as I didn’t know what to expect or how I would be feeling after the group, I would book the entire day off. This was a brilliant decision. Not because I was emotionally unsettled after the session, in fact I was surprisingly clear headed and emotionally stable, but because I literally never get any me time and I this was a prime opportunity. A very rare treat! My son was in nursery so I could get the most out of the first group session without worrying about him and then I had the entire afternoon to myself, to do anything I wanted, and it was amazing!
My car was in the garage being fixed so I was limited as to what I could do but that didn’t matter, I had time to myself. I received a generous amount of credit to spend in New look from various people for my 30th birthday last month and I never treat myself. So I decided that my afternoon would involve some “free” retail therapy. Along with New Look I relaxed in a coffee shop ordering some lunch and a hot chocolate, met with my sister to buy crafty bits (an old hobby of mine) so that we can hand-make her wedding invitations and I also treated myself to some work shoes because my old ones were literally falling apart. In total I spent about 5 hours in town and actually didn’t spend much money. I was able to casually try on all my New Look items without having to entertain a toddler throughout, I could enjoy a hot drink without my munchkin reaching for it and I was able to have some head space.
My PND meant that although I stayed active and social in some aspects, I was isolating myself more and I wouldn’t allow anyone else to look after my son. I was my own worst enemy "working" 24/7 with minimal sleep but I felt it was my job, guilty at the thought of leaving him with anyone else, worried if I accepted help that it was admitting to myself and others that I wasn't coping. I can literally count on one hand the number of days that I have had to myself in the last 14 and a half months. But this was the first time that I have done so without feeling guilty and it truly felt liberating. A much needed day off. Essential me time.
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