- Sleep!!!!!! You will never know what tiredness is until you are chronically sleep deprived. You may be lucky and have a good sleeper but not everyone is that fortunate.
- Peeing in peace
- Hot meals. Being able to eat your dinner as soon as it is served, not having to feed anyone else first, being able to eat all the food on "YOUR" plate and eating in peace
- Casual cooking. I spend an hour each day trying to multitask cooking and entertaining. He suddenly wants more attention than normal. I'm organising dinner with him in my arms, or attached to my leg. I am taking him to the other side of them room, setting off a toy and running back across the room knowing I have just enough time to safely check the hot contents of the oven before delicate hands appear again.
- A hot cup of tea. A HOT cup of tea no longer exists. Either you don't have time to drink it whilst it's hot or you have your baby sat on you/nursing meaning you're unable to drink it for fear of them grabbing it.
- Sitting down for 5 minutes
- "Popping" to the shop. There is no popping, you can't leave your little one in the car, you have to park up, get the buggy out, bundle up you're bubba just to spend 2 minutes buying some milk and then folding up the buggy, getting their coat off and getting them strapped in again. Or "nipping" into town doesn't work either, allow an additional hour for mission in to the nearest baby change for an explosive nappy change and then to a breastfeeding room (if you're lucky enough to have one of those locally) or traipsing around looking for a subtle seat in a cafe but not before you gone and purchased an unneeded beverage because your baby is screaming for a feed even though you gave them a feed just before you left to avoid exactly this.
- On that note, not having to organise everything around feeds, naps and nappy changes.
- Being able to walk straight into a shop carefree, without having to battle with opening doors to fit the the buggy through and constantly bumping into rails and dragging merchandise off the shelves with said buggy (although the plus side is using the buggy to carry shopping on).
- Having to make sure your petrol pump is a 'pay at pump' because you don't feel comfortable leaving your baby in the car whilst you pay but lugging them in to pay is an effort.
- Social skills, such as keeping quietly to yourself on public transport or in a restaurant. Babies like to stare at everyone meaning you have to talk to that stranger they are fixated with can sometimes be awkward.
- Wearing clean clothes. That being anything not covered in sick, snot, food, calpol.
- Buying and wearing figure flattering clothes, coz man oh man does that jelly belly hang around.
- Wearing any clothes you want without having to think "can I breastfeed in it".
- Wearing your hair down. Wearing your hair down is an invitation to your baby to pull chunks of it out with their sticky hand or suck on your hair. Saying that wearing your hair up doesn't completely solve the problem, they'll still find those little bits of hair by your neck to tug and man does that hurt.
- Wearing your favourite necklace, for the same reasons as above.
- Wearing your glasses. Babies are fascinated by beards and glasses. Babies think it's hilarious to grab them off your face at any time or situation, rendering you blind.
- Enjoying a relaxing bath or shower
- Being able to snuggle up to your other half and watch a movie.
- Space in your house! Babies are small but they come with a ton of stuff. You take your life in your own hands just crossing the living room, with regular cursing when you stand with your bare feet on the most jaged of toys because your floor is totally covered in them.
- Making your way through the toy jungle with at best a human lap dog and at worst a sobbing toddler attached to your leg.
- Being able to put your electricals down where ever you want without risking coming back to a broken screen or your phone being set to Chinese.
- Being able to own a small, fuel efficient car
- Just having space in your car boot even if you already own a bigger car.
- Being able to just nip away for the night without having to pack the whole house up to take with you.
- Long journeys taking the minimum amount of time to drive because you don't have to schedule breaks for every 2 hours plus the unplanned poo stop.
- Just owning nice, undestroyed stuff
- Clean carpets, not covered in milk puke
My partners additions from a man's perspective was:
- Being able to safely leave electricals and remote controls anywhere.
- Untidy wiring. Having to sort out all wires so they're hidden from sight because they are so tempting for a bubba.
- Getting sympathy, because now that I've had a baby he will "never know what true pain is".
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