In my desire to completely overcome post natal depression, I have been proactively finding ways to help myself. After searching on google I discovered PANDAS. PANDAS Foundation is a Pre and Post natal depression advice and support charity. They have various ways in which they can help women and men experiencing perinatal depression and those around them. Whilst browsing the options I discovered that they run support groups in some areas, and I was pleased to see that my local town was one of them. I promptly emailed the lady who runs my local group and received a friendly welcoming reply. The next group was the following Tuesday.
Tuesday came and my son and I headed to the children's centre that was hosting the support group. I hadn't built the trip up too much in my head, I knew that would not be wise, so as I was walking towards the main doors I started feeling nervous. I had no idea what to expect, but something similar to how psychotherapy groups are portrayed in films was my sudden unforseen concern; everyone sat looking stony-faced, on chairs in a circle, all watching me walk in. Instantaneous anxiety. The reality was quite the opposite. I walked through the doors, timidly asking 'Is this the PND group?' But to my relief I was warmly welcomed in and instantly invited to help myself to a hot drink and biscuit, if desired, before I joined everyone else. Chocolate chip cookies and a cup of tea is always a good start!
It was all comfortably informal, no circle as I envisaged, instead a choice of chairs or floor. The floor was set up with a floor mat and toys so I opted for the floor with my son, in doing so joining another mummy and her 6 month old.
I was the last to arrive so we all briefly introduced ourselves. There was 2 ladies who were involved in running the session, 3 mummies and 2 babies.
I learnt that the group is there for us to meet one another and besides that, the time is for us to use as we wish. We chose to spend the hour and a half discussing our experiences of pre or post natal depression (in my case whilst constantly chasing my little one around the room). Honestly, I started off feeling apprehensive and I don't believe I was the only one, the other mummies also appeared shy but as soon as the ice was broken the atmosphere was so relaxed, it felt natural talking about anything (even my feelings!) with these women because they were so understanding. We shared ideas and advice we have learnt along the way including techniques for helping our partners to empathise with our feelings, the various baby groups available locally that we have tried out and general wellbeing tips. The 90 minutes went past so quickly. We agreed we would all return for the next meeting in 2 weeks time to continue our conflab.
On reflection of the morning, what stood out to me the most was that we are mums with different upbringings, all confronting depression, and therefore we can empathise with each other but most striking was the different symptoms we were experiencing. Our pre/post natal depression was showing itself in different ways, for some it is anxiety, low confidence, fatigue for others anger, guilt and frustration. It is an individual experience but a shared challenge. Our most common characteristic was our desire to fully recover and be us again.
Unfortunately for me, my group runs every other Tuesday, this means I can attend the next session but then I'm back to work on Tuesdays. Such a shame because I feel I would benefit from the support. It is such a valuable, free service and I would recommend the group to anyone going through post natal depression.
PANDAS website link
Finding your local PANDAS support group
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